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I Wonder If… March 2, 2007

Posted by WishBoNe in Emotions & Feelings, Random Thoughts, Relationships, Romance/ Love.
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Arguments usually occur in any relationship. Witnessing any couple fighting in the public is embarrassing. You know why they’re fighting and what they are arguing about. Their private lives are shown to everyone.

Others fight in private. There are various reasons why couples fight, due to money issues, differences in life’s goal, differences in religious areas, differences in rearing the kids, etc. For me, I’m unhappy about one thing. It happened in the past and it is happening again. I’m very disappointed. It seems that what a friend’s husband mentioned that night, 天下男人一般黑, was right or maybe partially right. 99% of men can be extricating frustrating.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m doing anything wrong. I wonder if I had treated wrongly. I wonder if I hadn’t considered the feelings. I wonder if I had set my expectations too high. I wonder if I had misjudged again. I wonder if there were stamps on my eyes. I wonder if there was even a fight in the first place.

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1. me - March 4, 2007

i never believe in faulting everyone for the mistakes made by a few. i also do not believe in judging others – it’s too easy to judge others rather than judge oneself – too tempting really … and if the statement “to err is human” is correct, who are we to judge others … unless we are saints … and true saints wont judge others either … they lead by living their lives as an example to others … to them, that is enough.

management of expectations is the toughest thing to do, and i am constantly still learning and relearning it.

conflicts are normal. conflicts that doesnt break up a relationship will only strengthen it … if both parties learn from the conflict. the only way to have no conflict is to live alone, since you wont be at conflict with your self interest then, but life would be boring then. we want friendship, companionship, relationship, etc … but we mostly think of what we expect from others and rarely think of what we are expected to sacrifice or to give in order to have them.

like i said, i am still learning how to manage expectations. if i discover the answer, i will publish a book on it 🙂

look on the bright side, and good luck !

2. WishBoNe - March 4, 2007

Life is indeed lonely to live alone. Sometimes, breaking up a relationship means you could be running away instead of solving it.

I’m still wait for your book! When will you publish it?

3. me - March 10, 2007

i am not sure if life is meant to be lived alone, and trust me, i have tried. the good side is that you have less conflicts and less ups and downs. the down side is that life can become monotonous. I believe the different spectrum of colours is there for us to enjoy, and similarly, the different spectrum of emotions is there for us to experience life to the fullest. we would not appreciate happiness as much if there is no sadness to contrast the differences for us. It’s like having 7 sundays in a week, it becomes just another day.

breaking a relationship doesnt necessarily mean running away from it. relationship is maintained by 2 persons, and even if one party has superhuman endurance, patience and understanding, and the other wants to opt out, this relationship will break sooner or later. so sometimes when a relationship doesnt work out, it’s not so much of whether we are escapists, but whether we may be victims of difficult circumstances.

you may have to wait. i have no learnt enough to even start the first chapter … but you may write your own first, if you think you are up to it, and i know you have a talent for writing and voicing out your thoughts and opinions very fluently – go give it a try, haha 🙂

4. WishBoNe - March 11, 2007

I won’t be able to write my 1st chapter. The major difference between voicing opinions on blogs and books is that on blogs, you just voice it without regards to the flow. Editing can be done later.

For books, the flow must be there and the chapters in place. Hence, such books on self-healing will need months or years of gathering the information and someone to edit for you. 😀


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