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Relationship Expectations November 2, 2006

Posted by WishBoNe in Emotions & Feelings, Relationships.

This is just part 1 of what I happened to read. An excerpt below shows what I’ve done in the past.

Very often, the expectations we have of others stem from our own consciousness, our own psyche, and have little or nothing to do with the other person.

When we take our own ideals, standards, and values and use them as benchmarks of whether someone is good enough for us or good enough to us, we’re bringing unhealthy expectations into the relationship. We then demand that the other person behaves in accordance with these expectations. So when he or she eventually does something that appears to be in deep contrast with the standards we’ve projected onto them, we often feel hurt, betrayed, angry and confused.

With expectations of the other party without understanding that they’re just presenting who they’re to us; i.e. being themselves, we’re just hurting the ones we care about the most. I’ve been trying my best not to implement any expectations on my loved ones. I think I’m improving because I haven’t been disappointed so far :mrgreen:

What I’ve done is to check out on information on Mars and Venus. I’ll be putting up the links later once I’ve sorted them out.



1. I Wonder If… « A Mind of My Own - March 2, 2007

[…] I had treated wrongly. I wonder if I hadn’t considered the feelings. I wonder if I had set my expectations too high. I wonder if I had misjudged again. I wonder if there were stamps on my eyes. I wonder if […]

2. hudds53 - March 6, 2007

Isn’t it strange how we can let the actions or inactions of others hurt us. this happens when they don’t live up to the expectations we had of them. We always have to question, how realistic was my expectation. So often if we really look at it we can see the other person is just being themselves, living their lives as they see.
Our expectations of others may simply not match their life. Who is to know, we only set ourselves up for disappointment with our expectations of other. That only leaves accepting others as they are, so difficult sometimes.

3. WishBoNe - March 7, 2007

Bill, you’re right in the questioning part on whether our expectations were realistic or not. When things don’t go the way I wanted to, I would always stop and think if I was expecting too much.

Life’s full of questions and this seems to be the most commonly asked question in our lives.

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